LOVE and JOY

Our mommy/baby group met today at our house. Samantha was the perfect little host. She kept the conversation going with her LOUD talking. She has not really been loud in a long time so I think that having all the babies over is very stimulating, especially for me. I really do think that she feeds off me and gets a little more uptight. It's not that I don't LOVE the Bradley girls (that is what we are referring to ourselves as b/c we met in Bradley Birthing class), but today I was the hostess and I usually put a lot of energy into trying to be perfect. I have found that I struggle with wanting Sam to be perfect when we are out and about.....this only makes her act differently....I really should get over it.

We have been having some major discussions about sleep because it is that time of life when there are a million opinions about how long babies should sleep. I have been struggle just a little lately and some of it may be compounded by AJ needing to be up at 3am (I don't want to wake him), but I really don't want to struggle over my daughter. I really believe that we need to educate ourselves but more than anything we need to listen to God and our own instincts as parents. AJ and I are just not comfortable with letting Sam cry and it may mean that i get less sleep but with the right attitude and loving approach I think it can work. Sometimes we make it too complicated.

These are some writings I've been reading over at this blog SortaCrunchy with 2 women writing a book on parenting...I found them through some devine link and it helped me to recenter. Most importantly we can't forget that we wanted to bring Sam in this world in order to fill our life with HER JOY!!!

"The perspective we share is not a popular one . . . this hard truth that the first year should be less about training our babies and more about allowing ourselves to be trained by Him. And yet we do believe that if we let Him, God can use that first intense year of baby's life to train us how to live a life that is fully surrendered to Him. Mothering with a servanthood approach can and will squeeze the very last drops of self out of us. If we yield to it, there is such potential for spiritual growth and for learning - in the most hands-on, real-life way possible - what it truly means to be a servant leader. It can be a year of transformation from which we emerge with a refined and sharpened perspective, equipped to experience other people, other relationships, and other situations through the eyes of a servant.

In discussing this with Laura, she reminded me that while dying to self very often means pouring ourselves out in service to others, that it all comes back to, and originates, with God's direction to do so. When we die to self, we aren't turning ourselves over to our babies or to other people as much as we are turning ourselves over to the Lord, who (among other things) leads and commands us to be servants of others.

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But what if as that first year of babyhood winds down and a toddler stands where your baby once lay, what if you looked in the mirror and realized that the one who has grown by leaps and bounds in the past year is you? What if you could see that in most every situation you encounter, your first response is no longer selfish retreat, but rather selfless embrace? Would it make you smile with humble gratitude to recognize that in each moment you chose to approach your baby with the heart of a servant, you were able to more closely relate to and identify with your Lord Jesus Christ than you ever had before?

Would it be worth the cost? "